Why I Embrace My Loneliness

Society associates loneliness with unhappiness hence I was conditioned when I was younger to beilive so. I have spent most of my teenage life alone and now that my teenage life is near its end, I have changed my view towards loneliness. I perceive loneliness as freedom now, but I had to first fully understand why I’m lonely to reach to that conclusion

I’ve been lonely because I’m really fussy with who I bring to my inner circle.

Loneliness In Being Single

I haven’t had many girlfriends and all of them were terrible. Most of the girls I come across in my everyday life that I consider attractive seem to lack one thing, high self-esteem. If I’m going to have an intimate relationship with a woman, I want her to be confident with who she is. I want her to have metaphorical “balls” and I want her to get what she wants when she wants. If she loves herself and she thinks she is good enough for anything, she’s good enough for me.

I want a woman that shares the same high self-worth and sense of entitlement as me. However, women like that are very hard to find unless they are in a position of power which limits the probability of going out with them.

Most of the girls my age I come across lack confidence in some way. I’m not saying there is something morally wrong with that but I wouldn’t want to have an intimate relationship with them because I would end up being a supportive figure instead of a partner and I’m not very supportive, I’m blunt and honest.

I want a relationship were both parties don’t need to depend on each other and relationships like that are very hard to find.Β 

By realising what I want in an intimate relationship, it became apparent that I don’t need one. I don’t want someone to depend on in an intimate relationship hence I don’t need to be in a relationship.

Plus I’m not going to get a girlfriend just so I can be fucking “normal”.

Loneliness In Friendships

I’ve had many people stab me in the back and I tend to be quite explosive when things like that happen so I’m very careful with my selection criteria when it comes to friends. I read people like a book so I see more flaws than the average person because my knowledge is quite vast on human behaviour from personal experience and research.

Seeing more flaws avoids me from making disloyal or overly-dependent friends. I’m also quite insulted when people pretend to be friends but in reality they don’t really give a shit if you’re their friend or not.

In today’s society, trying to make friends when you’re 19 means you have to turn yourself into a whore and be what they want you to be. I don’t want to do that. People try so hard to make friends to the point where they lose their identity and become vulnerable to any cancerous ideologies out there.

Malcolm X said

“A man who stands for nothing, will fall for anything”

If a man is so desperate to make friends, he loses his identity in order to fit in. He becomes nothing but a mirror of ideas and behaviour. I would never let myself be susceptible to somebody else’s frame of mind for the purposes of “friendship”.

As I matured, Β I came to realise that my persistent sense of righteousness within me meant self-love and since then I have recognised that I am my greatest ally. I will not deny having another good ally but I certainly do not need one. I love spending time by myself, I can listen to whatever music I like and appreciate it for all the right reasons and watch whatever film I like without the need to please anyone else but me.

My conclusion

I embrace my loneliness because I enjoy it. I don’t feel sad when I am alone because I enjoy spending time with my best friend, myself and only self.

Needing a friend to feel happy makes you a very dependent individual in my opinion. If people loved themselves more instead of drowning in self-pity, they would spare themselves a lot of hustle.

 

 

 

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Excessive Use Of “Emojis” Is Exasperating…..JUST STOP IT!

I’m not talking about the occasional use of a smiley face or a sad face when something shit happens of a mundane nature. We’re talking about the pathological use of over the top and irrelevant emojis when making a post on social media.

Usually if you’re browsing through your phone and see something funny, you probably won’t start laughing out loud. If you’re around others and you’re presented with a humorous moment, you’ll probably laugh then but it would be highly unlikely that tears would come out your eyes. Unless you severely lack emotional intelligence, you would know that ‘crying out of laughter’ moments don’t come very often. So why do the average emoji users use this cancerous emoji bellow every single time they find something slightly humorous.

emoji laughing

It’s so bad that because there isn’t a more emotionally appropriate emoji, I’m guilty of using it too. I’m ashamed.

I have been thinking at why emojis irritate me so much and I have come up with two valid reasons.

1. Emojis Repress the English LanguageΒ 

There used to be a time where people had to express their emotions through words. People never drew how they felt on letters. They expressed it though nouns, adjectives and verbs. People would learn to use a more elaborate vocabulary to express their thoughts and feelings.

Emojis are repressing the young generation from learning to express their thoughts and feelings accurately through words which can have a devastating effect on them. If they are unhappy and the only way that they can express that is through the word ‘sad’ and the use of an emoji, that is absolutely tragic.

I urge people to use words instead of emojis to show how they feel like I did above when I said I’m ashamed for using the ‘tears of joy’ emoji. I could have used a sad face but I have the right vocabulary to not only describe how I feel but why I feel that way through the use of a single word instead of a single stupid image.

2. Unnecessary and Excessive Use Of Emojis Contribute To Insincerity and Emotional Instability.

Because of ‘fitting in’ everyone is using emojis. When I see them I am 100% certain that the person using them is not anywhere near pulling any of those facial expressions. If you see someone post a crying face, that user is definitely not crying, they are using a crying face to sympathise or pity with who ever they are communicating with. Their facial expression is straight…I know this. How disingenuous? Why would you want to indicate that your crying over something when you’re not. Emojis are an insincere way of expressing your feelings.

The other issue is that the most used emojis only portray extreme emotions.

If you’re not going to starbucks, a crying emoji would be imminent. Not going to starbucks is obviously something to cry over.

If a video shows a cat poking something, an emoji of a crying laughing face is a certainty because something shallow apparently is the funniest moment of your life you have experienced.

If someone reacted to real life events the same way people react to events on social media through emojis, that person would have the emotional intelligence of a toddler.

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I only use emojis that portray realistic and down to earth emotional expressions, such as a smiley face. However, I avoid using them because I have a good enough vocabulary to express how I feel in a significant and sophisticated manner. I urge you to cut down on your use of emojis……don’t let that cancer grow.